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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23099284">Logic has no place in This</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Anansi/pseuds/Loki_Anansi'>Loki_Anansi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Blatant Ironstrange, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), M/M, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:14:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23099284</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Anansi/pseuds/Loki_Anansi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>you’re waiting because you thought it would follow, you thought there would be<br/>some logic, perhaps, something to pull it all together<br/>-Richard Siken</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Logic has no place in This</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>you’re waiting because you thought it would follow, you thought there would be<br/>some logic, perhaps, something to pull it all together<br/>-Richard Siken</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He lied to me. </p>
<p>
  <em> He lied to me </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The words bounce around Tony's mind, saturating his every thought and stopping what was once unstoppable.</p>
<p>
  <em> He lied to me, how could I've trusted him? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His gaze connects with Stephen's as the Mad Titan goes to reap his rewards.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Man with the Shaking Hands seems to understand the unspoken questions and accusations.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Why did you let that monster get the Stone? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Why were you the one to decide our fates? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Why does this have to end with our deaths? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Why does this feel like it is only the beginning? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Why did you let me take my son to his death? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Why? why? why? whywhywhy<strong>why?</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>Why did you lie to me?</em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The look in Stephen's eyes makes Tony feel like Thanos put his own blade into his broken chest instead of his side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony already knows why.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Why? Because this fool of a broken being loves you </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> He saw more than he let on and fell for a shattered mess of a man </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Stephen sees his face and memorizes the look of a man on the verge of breaking. His mouth moves without his permission and adds to the fire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"We're in the Endgame now."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The look of despair at his words ignites this feeling of desperation, Stephen needs Tony to understand. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He would never do this to him if there was another way.</p>
<p>The Man with Chains made out of Guilt goes to plead for forgiveness, when...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Mr.Stark?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>No.</strong> This wasn't supposed to happen, not like this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> No. Nononononono- </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The word takes over his mind as Tony turns with horrified movements.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>No, not him</em>. Tony lunges towards Peter despite the burning in his side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"...I don't feel so good."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony gathers his son (<em> his son, I never told him </em>) into his arms and tries to hold him together.</p>
<p>"You're gonna be alright."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As long as Tony believes this, then it can become true. After all, the universe has granted others their wish. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Please don't let him die. Please let him stay with him. I have never asked you for anything else. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>Let my son live.</em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The universe is cruel. And apathetic, it would never grant anyone their wish. Even for their protector.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't wanna go, Mr.Stark, <em>please</em>. Please, I don't wanna go." Peter clutches at Tony, trying to hold on as the pain overwhelms him. It's too much, too much for someone like him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony shushes him with shaking hands through his curls, murmurs to his son a white lie for comfort, telling him everything will be alright when in reality, nothing ever really is.</p>
<p>The burning at his side intensifies and makes Tony stumble, and so they turn and twist to steady themselves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And as the Man of Iron connects eyes with the Man of Chained and Ruined Hands, his son breathes his last words,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> "I'm sorry." </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Its a whisper of a thing barely heard over the sound of his thundering heartbeat but Tony hears and understood.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He is covered in the remains of his son when Tony realizes the Truth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The World is cruel and full of injustice, not fit for those who shine brighter than the stars.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the Universe, it takes and takes indiscriminately without any reason to justify the death of existence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Tony, a man of Science &amp; Iron, Blood&amp; Bruises, Creativity &amp; Hope, was a Fool to think he can hold onto happiness without the Universe taking offense.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong><em>I'm sorry?</em></strong> His son thought this was his fault. Thought that it was his goddamn fault instead of his father's mountain of mistakes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony hunches forward and tries to breathe. It doesn't work, but Tony continues to try.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result </em>
</p>
<p>"Tony, there was no other way."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sudden words cause fury to erupt inside Tony. Gives him the energy to fully turn around to face that blasted Sorcerer. But the sight before him stops him in his tracks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Stephen was broken, held at the seams of existence by his magic as he tries to give Tony one last message.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was dusted but at the same time, he was not. Millions of particles glued together to create a warped image of Stephen. And it was agony, so clearly seen in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Tony, there was no other way."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony steps forward as Stephen gasps,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You need to be kept alive Anthony. It is the only way to win this war."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sound leaks through Tony's cracked lips in response to the ruined magician's words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was an inhumane sound, one filled with horror and sickness and agony. Tony gestures around him, "how can you consider this to be winning. How can any of this be considered WINNING?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A shudder pasts through Tony, so he wraps his arms around himself and tries not to breathe in the dust on him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Stephen shudders in response, as if connected to Tony. He smiles that half-smile Tony once remembered seeing once. It was so long ago, at a banquet that neither cared about. Tony remembers spending the entire night by Stephen's side, the only person who treated him like an adult instead of a 17-year-old nuisance. Lips sticky with champagne and eyes bright with an emotion he wasn't used to feeling, Tony asked Stephen if he liked him. Just to see his reaction of course.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> And to see if Tony ever had a chance </em>
</p>
<p>Stephen smiled that same half-smile, and it was enough to make Tony feel like an invigorated fool. Stephen never answered his question, but it left Tony feeling like he should've known the answer already.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I hope you never forgive me Anthony. But I know you will understand that one day, this is the best choice."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As if Tony would ever consider this to be a win, would ever consider a son made out of gold dust and a world torn in half to be the best possible outcome.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Five years into the Future, with a daughter at home and his son at his side, Tony will remember this moment and be thankful that he was wrong. This Future is a win.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before Tony can respond, Stephen's magic warps and shatters, the broken image of him slowly fragmenting into dust that falls to the beaten ground.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Tony doesn't know what he's going to do. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A woman named Nebula settles him into the former Starlord's ship and sets them on a course towards an unbalanced Earth. The dust settles onto his shoulders and hair. The blood oozing out of his wound making everything feel weightless. He stares into space as he thinks:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> What is he going to tell Pepper? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Here's Stephen's Truth:</p>
<p>Tony dying for a Universe that never really loved him will never be what he considered a win. No matter what was gained in the end. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But maybe that's just his heartbroken <em>Heart shattered Soul split into 14 million 6 hundred and 5 pieces</em> mind speaking</p>
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